6 Ways to Calm Down When Things Are Falling Apart
In times of change, it can feel like everything around you is falling apart and in chaos. If you’re finding it difficult to remember that this state will never end, it will be much harder to manage.
Luckily, there are many ways to calm down, get grounded, and gain clarity.
Here are just 6 of those ways.
1. Identify the Catalyst
If something falls apart, that means there was something unstable about the foundation. Learning how to identify the root problem, or catalyst, helps you discover where the unstable foundation stemmed from.
A technique called the 5 Whys — invented by Sakichi Toyoda — can help you to identify the root of a problem. The method is stated simply:
“When a problem occurs, you drill down to its root cause by asking “Why?” five times.
Once the catalyst has been identified, countermeasures can be put into place. This newfound awareness can help you find a way to prevent similar problems from arising in the future and feel calmer as well as more in control.
2. Trust in Yourself
If you’ve gone through a rough period in the past, look back and see that in time, you moved on or grew from it — physically and emotionally. Maybe you told your story to friends or loved ones, journaled furiously about it, shed the tears that needed to be shed, and now you are the only constant between that time in your life and this current moment.
You can do this… again. Search for even the minute differences in your life to see any past growth to remember you’ll grow from this storm too.
3. Visualize a Few Years from Now
Look to the future and envision your life in a few years. Visualization is a well-known technique for good reason… it works. Maybe there is a mountain to climb to get there, but if you just take one step after another, in time, you’ll arrive. Bring your mind back to that place as often as possible. Even if that place is just a state of mind. As Albert Einstein once said,
“Visualization is more important than knowledge.”
4. Look at the Sky
I have this funny habit of looking at the ground too much when I walk. According to neuroscientist and psychogeographer, Colin Ellard, this is very common. Dr. Ellard states that,
“The majority of our interactions with the world focus on a small part of our visual fields and almost always towards the horizon or at what’s right in front of us.”
For an easy way to change your thought patterns, try looking up next time you go outside. Spend time appreciating it — for more than 2 seconds. Watch the clouds move if it’s cloudy. If there are no clouds, search for all the edges of the sky. If it’s night, observe the stars sparkle.
5. Stop Thinking About Yourself
I know I said before to envision yourself in the future, but it’s also helpful to focus on something other than yourself in the present. If you are deep in self-analysis or thinking about the worst about what’s going on right now — take a break. As said by Mahsati A.:
“Overthinking will not empower you over things that are beyond your control. So, let it be if it is meant to be and cherish the moment.”
Giving yourself a break by focusing on someone or something else can truly grant you the space your brain needs to process. Thinking too much can lead to overwhelm if you forget to take a breath.
6. Schedule a Chat with an Old Friend or Family Member
Here’s one way to focus on something else. When’s the last time you talked to your cousin on your mom’s side? Or your funny uncle on your dad’s? You most likely have one family member that you used to know well when you were younger. Or maybe, one that you don’t know well enough. Choose someone, then Facebook or e-mail them and ask if they’re available for an evening video chat or call to catch up next week. You’ll feel more grounded and content afterward.
Fortunately, there are many ways to calm down. However, the key thing to remember is that it takes time to find stability after a crisis. Just calming yourself down once doesn’t mean you won’t ever have to do it again. It takes practice, so remember the adage: practice makes perfect. You have to keep trying, but the more you do, the easier it will get.
Learning how to calm down and assure yourself is a key skill to have in life when things get out of place. These techniques can potentially help you learn this skill. However, if you’re finding it difficult to do this on your own, look into scheduling an appointment with a therapist to have them teach you.
